Whole Soul Empowered Coaching

I am very blessed to have come from such a giving family. I was loved and
taught right from wrong.

But as I stepped into adulthood, I found myself hung up on sentences like these; Good girls never . . . say no to people who ask you for help, even if it might hurt them personally. Good girls always . . . give up what they want and need to meet the need of someone else, because good girls needs shouldn’t matter.

As I walked into my 30’s I was really struggling to find a balance. I wasn’t even able to admit to myself in private the things I wanted. I was sure that these desires went against the rules of what “good girls” do and do not do. My brain would soundly rebuke me with, “don’t be so selfish” as I began to work up the courage to say no to something that wasn’t good for me.

Then in 2021, still working remotely due to COVID 19, I crashed in the worst way possible! I had found what I believed to be love. Sure, it had a lot of problems, and the relationship gave me anxiety, but it was written in the stars! I would give them the love they had never had and in return they would accept me. Except, that never actually happened. The rules of “good girls” had entrapped me in a relationship with a borderline psychopath.

There is a happy end to this story. I got out! And I got help!

Having been in such a scary relationship shook me to the core. I remember my counselor saying that unless and until I was able to have boundaries and speak up for what I want I would always find myself in abusive relationships.  She also said that by me saying yes to things I wanted to say no to I could actually turn a nice person into an abuser. From there I asked a lot of questions of myself and how I ended up in a relationship that was nothing like what I knew
to be good.

The answers came one by one.  At the core of my choices was shame. I was ashamed of asking for what I wanted. I was ashamed to say no to the things that weren’t what I wanted.  I did the work to silence the “good girl” lies. I found my own voice in a loud room! Now it is my mission to help others do the same!